Everything you need to know to enjoy the 2012 summer games.
The Olympics are a series of athletic contests originally devised by the Greeks
Not these Greeks
These Greeks
This year they will take place in London
London is in Great Britain
Great Britain is ruled by a queen
and the Goblin King
The symbol of the Olympics is five interlocking rings
and the one ring to rule them all
The Olympics will have two mascots - Wenlock & Mandeville
you know, for kids
The Olympics begin when the Vestal virgins gather the flames of the sun
and send them around the world
to light Michael Phelps' bong
Olympic winners receive medals
in categories like sharpest hair
strongest Sly Stallone impersonator
and most likely to be Michael Jordan
The U.S.A. has historically done well
and 2012 should bring us medals in swimming
kicking
and basketballing
The Olympics will be broadcast around the world
and everyone will be tuning in
to watch this chick jump over stuff
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